I can text with my tongue
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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