I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
