Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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