This house was built for laser tag.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i've created a new STD.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
