I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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