Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
