I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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