All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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