Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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