i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
