Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
