Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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