All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she peed on how many people?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
