The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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