Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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