my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
