My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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