oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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