She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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