I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
