is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
