and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
