if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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