I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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