this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize