I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize