Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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