i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
