That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
