Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize