Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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