I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
