We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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