Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
