Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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