Where are you?
In a non slutty way
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
