watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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