That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize