My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize