I want to make a zoo with you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
