So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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