i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
