he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
