do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he shaved USA in his pubs
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
