do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
