Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
