I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
