But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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