Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
