Umm I'm too high to move.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize