He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
