I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
