you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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