Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drunk is not a location!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
