so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
