in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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