You really coming over, don't trick.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My vagina just recognized that song.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
