the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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