Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
