I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
