It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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