I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
