Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize