i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
