well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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