Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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